Joke of the day! (No Memes)

[RIDERED]

@JDMeister I had a guy ask me for $1 and I asked if he change for a $20?
He was not happy about that one! LOL

I did the same thing in Indianapolis.

 

[ESCO]

Q: Why is sex like math?
A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

 

[ESCO]

What do you call one hundred baby sheep rolling down a hill?
A lambslide.

 

[ESCO]

[td]

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[/td][td]

If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot, Technically speaking, it would be on the right foot.​

[/td]​

 

[ESCO]

In 3,024 more years life will be really great or really terrible. It's 5050.

 

[JDMeister]

Me: I just found out I'm going to be a father.
Him: Is that a problem?
Me: My wife don't know yet.

 

[ESCO]

A lion would never drive under the influence...
But a Tiger Wood.

 

[JDMeister]

The first guy to level out ICE
was "Zamboni".

 

[ESCO]

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?
Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

 

[THD]

I found out that I'm a woman after hearing last night that you are what you eat!

 

[JDMeister]

Make Lemon Zest Grate again

 

[ESCO]

My boss asked me how good I was at making spreadsheets.
I told him I Excel at it.

 

[JDMeister]

I was once a man trapped in a woman's body.
Then I was born.

 

[ESCO]

I bought a "smart" light switch, but I couldn't figure out how to use it. I had to exchange it for a dimmer one

 

[Stinky]

At the county courthouse in Rawlins, WY