JD'S Memes

aceisback said:
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This reminds me of when I worked at a defense contracting company. The VP and all of the techs were ex-submarine ETs, the rest were support staff, mostly female. We hired a guy fresh off of active duty. After checking in with our hot Filipino-American head of HR, the guy proceeds to tell the VP how much he's dying to bend the head of HR over her desk and pound the bottom out of her, actually thrusting his hips at the side of the VP's desk! The VP smiles at him and points to the glass bricks which separate his office from the HR office, and the top row of bricks were never installed. Then she says, "Don't make promises you can't keep! I can hear every word you clowns say in there!" The other sup and I plus the VP just laughed while the new guy turned beet red!

When I first got hired, a rumor was going around that I was a new dept. head. There was a real ambitious female climber who straight up cornered me and promised anything I wanted if I'd hire her and promote her to my personal assistant. She was labeled "ambitious" because she'd been caught screwing a dept. head in his office during work hours. 

A yr later, she was trying to get Dan to promote her into his group, increasing her pay from $18/hr to $28/hr. Dan was a miniature Jabba the Hut, disgusting, bald, fat, short, greasy, slimy sexual predator. There were 5 of us in the courtyard when she walked up to Dan and said, "OMG! Dan, are you losing weight?? You look soooo sexy!" The VP and the other 3 of us all started chuckling and snorting in amusement and I said, "Don't forget to tell him his hair is growing back too! If you're gonna suck that ass, suck the whole ass!" Dan got mad and left and she went over to the VP and angrily asked him if he was going to let me sexually harass her like that!

He said, "Sweetheart, he didn't sexually harass you. He cracked a joke about your naked ambition, and we all thought it was funny!"

Another time I was telling another guy an off color joke in my office. She overheard it while hiding in someone else's office and in retaliation for embarrassing her, she filed a complaint that I sexually harassed her. That got her a lecture about not eavesdropping on other people's conversations.

A few days later, I saw her grab an 18 yr old new hire's arse really hard and say, "I want some of this!" I normally wouldn't give a crap, but since she had turned into such a C$nt lately, I filed a sexual harassment complaint against her and the receptionist also signed it. She got called into HR and claimed she was just joking and he wasn't the one who filed the complaint. HR told her neither of those things mattered, she needed to keep her hands off of other people's bodies. She honestly thought women couldn't commit acts of sexual harassment!   

 
aceisback said:
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Don't forget my favorite co-dawg holding my favorite meal!

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