Joke of the day! (No Memes)

[JDMeister]

Two tons of marijuana caught fire in a warehouse.
Local firefighters, using the latest fire science
were able to keep the fire burning for three weeks.

 

[ESCO]

Just remember. No one can prove you weren't a regional manager of Sears, RadioShack or Blockbuster

 

[ESCO]

I opened my birthday card and a bunch of rice fell out…
I instantly knew who it was from.
Uncle Ben.

 

[dbart]

I think this thread should be renamed, Dad Joke of the Day!

 

[ESCO]

When I was younger I had a job as a shop window mannequin.
I held that position for a long time.

 

[John@Outfront]

I think this thread should be renamed, Dad Joke of the Day!

i love these clean dad jokes! keep'n it clean

 

[ESCO]

i love these clean dad jokes! keep'n it clean

Did you know when you drive in Louisiana
The swamps go right bayou!

 

[ESCO]

Someone glued my deck of cards together…
I don’t know how to deal with it.

 

[JDMeister]

How to tell if a mechanic has a girlfriend.
He has two clean fingers.

 

[ESCO]

One of my friends got fired from the coffee shop

....He wore a T-shirt to work.

 

[JDMeister]

How to tell pron is fake?
No way a plumber shows up that fast.

 

[ESCO]

My dog ate a whole string of Xmas lights…Thankfully, the vet removed them.
He’s delighted.