Joke of the day! (No Memes)

Working at an unemployment office has to be a tense job knowing if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
 
My neighbor girl flunked her DMV driving test.
She couldn't get used to the front seat.
 
The tariffs on China have raised prices 200%
here in Los Angeles massage parlors.
 
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. An optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. A realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the track.
 
Hiking in your 80s is a great way to meet people.
Today I met 2 paramedics, 3 nurses, a cardiologist...
and nearly met Jesus.

 
I've walked like an Egyptian, moonwalked, walked this way, walked on the wild side, walked on sunshine, walked all over you, walked the line, I've walked a lot dammit! I'm tired
 
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