JD'S Memes

MEDINA, WA—According to anonymous sources, Melinda Gates filed for divorce from her husband Bill after discovering a shocking video of him dancing on stage to "Start Me Up" by The Rolling Stones during the Windows 95 launch. 

"Oh my gosh- my husband is a total dork," said a shocked Melinda Gates, according to one witness. "How could he have hidden this from me for so long? How could I have been so blind? Why did Bill hide this dark secret from me?" 

Friends of the family say she quickly filed for divorce citing "irreconcilable differences", likely due to Bill's dark and dorky past. 

"He always told me he was a cool guy and a really great dancer, and I believed him. I've been living a lie."

Sources also say that since the couple had no prenuptial agreement, Melinda will get Bill's entire fortune, leaving him only with Zune. 

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