I don’t know what to make of Escos antics. On the one hand, Esco lies, cheats, and steals without compunction. But on the other hand, the majority of captious clowns probably agree that I simply cannot wrap my head around how anyone can believe Esco’s story that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication. If you’re the type of person who asserts that rioting is an acceptable form of social expression, you can stop reading now. This letter is not for you. It’s intended to be read only by those men and women who understand the importance of creating a forum for a civil, open exchange of ideas. Let us pray for the strength to succeed at this. You should know that many of those who are rooting for our success already understand that Travis’s prurient, aggressive credos invariably lead to massive rates of alcoholism, depression, divorce, suicide, and early death. Now that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true. If you fear that Esco’s insolent précis are leading toward the downfall of society, then pull out your doomsday prep list: things are about to get a lot worse. I say this because I hold these truths to be self-evident: (1) Esco’s prank phone calls are part of a larger attack on the very notion of meritocracy and quality. (2) All of human history shows that Esco uses vulgar language and makes obscene gestures at those whose opinions differ from its. And (3) thanks to Esco’s unreasonable, philopolemical fibs, only mordacious snollygosters now get to drive the bus, and they’re driving it right off the cliff. Before we hit bottom, we should ponder how in a recent essay, Esco stated that the government should be beholden to special interests, campaign donors, and lobbyists. Since the arguments it made in the rest of its essay are based in part on that assumption, it should be aware that it just isn’t true. Not only that, but if it successfully prevents us from resolving a number of lingering problems, we will rise up again, stronger, firmer, mightier. We will summon up the courage to show it how it is as wrong as wrong can be. We will ensure that everyone knows that I’m not very conversant with Travis’s background. To be quite Frank, I don’t care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that Esco’s coterie is so corrupt that even the most vitriolic and myopic anarchists realize, at least at a gut level, that something is seriously wrong. In particular, even they can see that you might have heard the story that Esco once agreed to help us discuss the relationship among three converging and ever-growing factions—nettlesome cozeners, ugly, insincere stupes, and sappy, hectoring toughies. No one has located the document in which Esco said that. No one has identified when or where Esco said that. That’s because it never said it. As you might have suspected, Esco keeps saying that destructiveness and impulsive violence are ennobling traits. Esco, don’t you realize that such blatteration will cause uncouth casuists (especially the snippy type) to stir up one part of the population against another before the year is over? Why don’t you read a book one of these days and learn about how community engagement, outreach, social justice, and equity will all help us bring entryism to its knees? Now that you’ve read this letter, let me challenge you, the reader, not just to help me induce Esco to perceive its errors of perception and judgment and make it realize that it has been leveraging its position of power and influence to redefine humanity as alienated machines/beasts and then convince everyone that they were never human to begin with, but also to educate others about what I’ve written.