JD'S Memes

Traditional Virgin



A virgin from a traditional family tells her grandmother she's going on her first date.



The grandmother says,

"Sit here and let me tell you about these young boys.

He is going to try to kiss you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

He is going to try to feel your breasts. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

He is going to try to put his hand between your legs. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

Most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. Don't let him do that; it will disgrace our family."

Keeping this advice in mind, the virgin goes on her date and afterwards can hardly wait to tell her grandmother about it.

"It went just like you said!" she says. "But I didn't let him disgrace our family. When he tried that, I got on top of him and disgraced his family
 

 




 
 




















Questions and Answers from 
CARP Forum​

CARP - Canadian Association of Retired People​




Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find 
younger women who are interested in them?​


A: Try a bookstore, under 
Fiction.​




Q: What can a man do while his wife is going 
through menopause?​


A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can 
finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.​








 








 







Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 
over-70 year-old husband?​


A: Tell him you're 
pregnant.​




Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the 
elderly wrinkles?​


A: Take off your 
glasses.​




Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet 
and all those wrinkles on my face?​


A: Go braless. It will usually pull them 
out.​




Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet 
parking?​


A: Valets don't forget where they park your 
car​




Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have 
problems with short term memory storage?​


A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it 
is the problem.​




Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?​


A: Yes, but usually in the 
afternoon.​




Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye 
glasses?​


A: On their 
foreheads.​




Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus 
year olds when they enter antique stores?​


A: "Gosh, I remember 
these!"​




SMILE, 
You've still got your sense of
humor, haven't you?​





















 
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