As a parent do you ever lose the anxiety for your kids?

zilla68

zilla68

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2021
Messages
965
Reaction score
747
My son lives in Minnesota temporarily while in training for work. He is 24. He has been there a year.
I knew he was meeting his girlfriend in kansas city for valentines weekend, and I travel alot for work, so I gave im about 14,000 rental car points so he could rent instead of driving his truck. Found out tonite that he didn't want to use the points as it would take alot of them, and he would only be out of pocket the taxes etc, which i told him i would gladly pay.
So he's driving his truck.
It's about 4-5 hours i think, not crazy, but god my anxiety shot thru the roof thinking of him breaking down.
I guess I put my dad thru it also, but hell back in the late 80's early 90's but I knew my way around a toolbox and repairs.
I remember breaking a ball joint on my truck in a podunk town in SE okla, and changing it in a grocery store parking lot one night, with virtually no tools and for damn sure no you tube.

He knew I was pissed and he said well I guess I'll let you know if your right or not.
My buddy said man you got to let it go, let him figure it out, but it scares me to death about a breakdown.

Daughter is 20 and last summer jumped in her car without mom telling me, drove to galveston with her buddies, drove me crazy when i found out, no checking oil, no checking tires, just go.
I have a horrible fear of not being there to help them like I always have on these type situations.

I know there's alot of parents with growing up kids on here, does it every go away?
 
LOL, I know! But imagine what we made it through at those ages with much less resources. They learn from mistakes and challenges, but dang is it hard to stand on the sidelines and let it unfold
 
And yes constant anxiety. Not sure if it goes away. Not sure this helps, but your not alone!
 
I lost my anxiety over my kids when they were in their late teens. They ran with a good group of friends and I was usually the last person they would call when something went wrong. They were very good at figuring it out and getting back on the road. They would call me after the fact to let me know what happened, what they did to fix it, and everything was ok. Usually the only time they called when they had an issue was to bring the trailer because they had exhausted all other options. My wife on the other hand is a different story, when she is on a road trip I always worry until I get the call that she arrived.
 
I am eternally grateful I didn't have "helicopter parents", and I managed to not become one. NOT saying you are, BTW. My wife, on the other hand, is the definition of helicopter mom...
 
Absolutely hasn’t gone away one 23yr old son has a pro r now supercharged . Also has a good career ahead of him and has a attitude like his dad
 
I have 4 - 22, 21, 19 and 18. 2 girls, 2 boys.

The anxiety never goes away, at least not yet.

But I will say for each of them its totally different for different reasons. Certain things they do I have no doubts or concerns, even some things mentioned here...nope, they got it handled. I will sleep like a baby.

Other thing stress the shit out of me, because whatever crap they can possibly get into, I was worse and know where dumb decisions lead LOL. There really is just one I have to stay 3 steps ahead...and he's potentially close to going to live with Uncle Phil in Idaho, before his mom loses her mind.
 
Never goes away.

I will say, the fear of what others will do to them, does not match the anxiety over the stupid shit they do to themselves. I did everything I could to give them a solid foundation and start in life and my ex-wife did everything she could to ruin that. Seems like the ex won.

What I don't do is bail them out. I gave them one bailout each, after that, they are on their own. If they go to jail, I'll visit. If they are homeless, I'll still allow them to come visit, but they aren't getting any more money from me and definitely not coming to live with me.
 
Last edited:
Sometimes, you just have to trust the job you did as a parent....

Which is what my dad tells me anyway. Mine are 16/14, so the worrying has really only just begun. LOL
 
I don’t have any kids that I know of so never felt it, several step kids over the years, so I kind of get it. My parents didn’t have to deal with it, I was self sufficient by the time I was 18, I could fix, make decisions, and didn’t tell my parents what and where I went. They did have to get me out of jail a couple times though before I was 18.
 
I have 3 kids in their 20's, I don't have anxiety, but I do worry a bit. I am also proud when they have success in these road trips, kind of counterbalances everything for me. I do ask that they text us when they arrive at their destinations, along with our entire family is on Life360, even the grandparents now.
 
As a dad of 6 boys - youngest is 27. No, it doesn't go away
5 out of 6 make good choices. The one never learns from his mistakes and keeps making them.
I learned to let it go. Our job is done.
 
My daughter is 25. For the most part, I really don't worry about her!

Why?

She 2 belts away from her black belt in martial arts. Kajukenbo...

It's self defense street fighting. The Original MMA. It's meant for if five guys jump you...

That's it? You Sure you do wanna get some More guys?

I worry more about the person that fucks with her. She will put em in the hospital for sure.
 
1HasBeen said:
I am eternally grateful I didn't have "helicopter parents", and I managed to not become one. NOT saying you are, BTW. My wife, on the other hand, is the definition of helicopter mom...
Click to expand...
I dont "think" im a helicopter parent, at least i hope not.
I gave him run of the road from a young age, told him you make the right choices, every time, i'll let you do what you want. and he did. I never monitored his music or movies he watched. he was at a party where bad stuff happened, drugs, an OD, and he called me to come get him, he stood in the rain until I got there down the street. From that point on I never questioned any moves he made. but I was always within reach when his truck wouldnt start, flat tire, etc.
I'm sure he will be fine, but man i'm staying stressed out lol.
Now his sister...............whole nother story lol
 
Rockwood said:
Sometimes, you just have to trust the job you did as a parent....

Which is what my dad tells me anyway. Mine are 16/14, so the worrying has really only just begun. LOL
Click to expand...
i know he would figure it out, he is smart, not sure on the handy part lol.
One time he helped a buddy and his mother move as she got divorced. He said dad I was the only guy there out of 6 that knew how to take a door off a hinge, undo a washer and dryer, unhook a fridge water line, little stuff like that. they all were amazed and said how you know how to do that stuff, he said my dad made me help him. boy he was proud of himself, and I was of him also.
 
In Excess said:
I don’t have any kids that I know of so never felt it, several step kids over the years, so I kind of get it. My parents didn’t have to deal with it, I was self sufficient by the time I was 18, I could fix, make decisions, and didn’t tell my parents what and where I went. They did have to get me out of jail a couple times though before I was 18.
Click to expand...
oh the 80s lol. I lived that life also, no jail though lol.
 
My son is 22 and moved 7 hours away last year. He has a fairly new truck but has had a few problems with it. He always calls me when something is wrong. He does have AAA and its saved him once. Knowing he has AAA helps a lot. I don't know if I would call it anxiety but I do worry about him when he does trips home or meets us in Glamis. As far as protecting himself I don't worry about that. I created a monster with him when it comes to guns and he always carries. Also he's a Sheriff and has had a lot of defense training. I think it will get easier over time but I don't think it will ever go away.
The one time he used AAA he got a flat tire going into Prescot from where he lives in Cottonwood. I told him to call AAA and have them come change it. That's what you pay for. Well they came and changed it. He went to start his truck after the tow truck left and his battery was dead from his hazards being on. I asked him if he had his gun on him and he did, so I said pull out your jumper cables with your hood open and stand by the highway. Someone pulled over and jumped him right away. Being that it was in Prescot I wasn't really worried about who would stop plus he was armed.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top