Another set of questions that probably deserves it's own post, but I'll make quick answers here:
Width vs. depth (shaft center distance): Generally, bigger shaft centers will create a stronger gear, allowing for larger tooth profiles in lower ratio gears. Space requirements do not always allow for big shaft centers.
Gear ratio lifetime: The lower the ratio, the driving gear has to turn the driven gear over more often, so the teeth on the driving gear see more use (example: a 3.09 1st gear, the driving gear turns 3.09 times for every 1 turn of the driven gear). The bigger effect is how much use that particular gear is subjected to. 2nd and 3rd gear wear out fast simply because they are used the most.
R&P's wear at a different rate than 1st-4th gears for a variety of reasons, the biggest being that the R&P is always driving under load in any gear. But, since the gear teeth are much larger in size, they can somewhat even each other out over time.
A taller ratio R&P is stronger, and generally longer lasting because there are typically more teeth on the pinion head (see my comment above about a 3.09 1st gear wear life), but since the final drive ratio is higher, you need to compensate by running a lower ratio forward gearset (this is the Fortin conundrum, high ratio R&P for strength, lower/weaker ratio 2nd gear to compensate).
A lower ratio R&P is weaker, but allows for a stronger, higher ratio forward gearset. The trick is find the happy medium, which I think we have the best options for with 4.63, 4.86, and 5.14 R&P's that allow for decently stronger 2nd and 3rd gears.