Tips for those who enjoy a beverage then drive.

BaBaBouy

BaBaBouy

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If you drive after or while having an adult beverage (not advisable) what do you do to lessen the chance of being caught.
I’ve employed a few techniques over the years, here’s some,
Put a “We’re spending our grandchildren’ inheritance” on your rig (works best on an RV)
Flip your rear view mirror up, forget about what’s behind you.
Drive 4mph OVER the speed limit.
When changing lanes move the turn signal lever just until it activates, three “blinks” and you’re done, don’t lock it in place for a longer duration.
 
Shit yore pants.

If I pulled you over and smelled/saw that...you'd get a pass for sure.
 
Get to your destinations as quickly as possible.
Reduce your exposure by following these simple rules

-Go as fast as you can
-Never touch the brake
-No lights especially if it's dark
-Ignore all traffic control devices
 
In 1998, I broke my rule of "not letting women drive" and ended up upside down on the 78 in Oceanside after rolling 6 times, during a crash. Still dealing with the aftermath, physically.

Women DO NOT drive me around.

I laugh my ass off when I see a guy in the passenger seat and his woman is driving. Not in my world. Take a look at her car... I'm sure there are scars to show her skill set.

Even better... is when a "man" is on his phone at the gas station in the PASSENGER seat and she's pumping gas.
 
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In my early 20s picked up a 12 pack of corona on my way home from work one day. Get home and my little brother drinks one of them then we decide to run to walmart in his car, he drives. I've got the 12 pack between my feet with all the empties in the box. Get stopped for speeding. Speed limit goes 55, 45, 35 in a very short distance coming up to the walmart. We pull into the entrance to the parking lot and stop with the cop with cherries on behind us. I had just opened the last (my 11th) beer right before he lit us up. He tells us to pull up outta the way on his PA. When we do and I slam the last of my beer and put the empty in the box between my feet. Better to have all empties than a partial beer is my thought. I'm not driving, he only had one, so we figure worst thing they can do is we get an open container ticket and speeding ticket and go on about our day. My little brother was born with bloodshot eyes. Like they're always bloodshot no matter what. They give him a field test and arrest him for DUI. We both tried telling them he only had one beer and it had been a good hour since and I was the one who drank em all. I even told him about slamming the last one while he was behind us. He doesn't care. Guess he's too busy patting his own back for catching a drunk driver. So I ask if they gonna tow the car he says I can take it for my bro if I want. I'm like "no way man I'm drunk" . He says let me check you out. Holds his pen in front of my face, has me follow it for a second and says "you're fine to drive". WTF!? No way I'm letting them get both of us. I waited and watched em leave. Then went in the store and hung out for a while. Finally went home and got our older brother and we went and bailed out younger bro. They did breathe and blood on him and everything came back 0.000. He went to court later and judge threw it out but still a huge cluster.
 
My little bro got a minor consumption ticket once the next day when I got pulled over headed to the river..lol My mom was pissed.
 
Rorschach said:
In my early 20s picked up a 12 pack of corona on my way home from work one day. Get home and my little brother drinks one of them then we decide to run to walmart in his car, he drives. I've got the 12 pack between my feet with all the empties in the box. Get stopped for speeding. Speed limit goes 55, 45, 35 in a very short distance coming up to the walmart. We pull into the entrance to the parking lot and stop with the cop with cherries on behind us. I had just opened the last (my 11th) beer right before he lit us up. He tells us to pull up outta the way on his PA. When we do and I slam the last of my beer and put the empty in the box between my feet. Better to have all empties than a partial beer is my thought. I'm not driving, he only had one, so we figure worst thing they can do is we get an open container ticket and speeding ticket and go on about our day. My little brother was born with bloodshot eyes. Like they're always bloodshot no matter what. They give him a field test and arrest him for DUI. We both tried telling them he only had one beer and it had been a good hour since and I was the one who drank em all. I even told him about slamming the last one while he was behind us. He doesn't care. Guess he's too busy patting his own back for catching a drunk driver. So I ask if they gonna tow the car he says I can take it for my bro if I want. I'm like "no way man I'm drunk" . He says let me check you out. Holds his pen in front of my face, has me follow it for a second and says "you're fine to drive". WTF!? No way I'm letting them get both of us. I waited and watched em leave. Then went in the store and hung out for a while. Finally went home and got our older brother and we went and bailed out younger bro. They did breathe and blood on him and everything came back 0.000. He went to court later and judge threw it out but still a huge cluster.
Click to expand...
One night I leave band practice with the remains of a sixer behind the seat of my VW bug. Drive to the bar/ club where the GF (same girl I am with now BTW) is. Just before I turn into the club I see a cop car heading the opposite direction. I turn into the club and park, little did i know the cop turned around. I go inside grab a beer or two, get the GF and we are now heading back to my place. As soon as I get on the road a cop is behind me and lights me up. I pull into the big empty parking lot of Big Surf. Lady cop tells me she saw me drive into the bar and saw I didn't have any taillights, and it just wasn't my day because I pulled right in front of her as I left the bar.
Well, she asks me if I had been drinking, I say, well I just finished off her beer so we could leave but that is it, I probably was around 5 or so for the night. So it's time to do stupid human tricks in the parking lot and well the GF she is three sheets to the wind so she (who cannot drive due to her own DUI) isn't helping. Telling the cop, she did a better job of whatever stupid human trick I was doing, and she got a DUI. Well, I passed the test, and the lady cop was cool. She says leave the car here walk up to the corner use the pay phone and get a ride because if I see this car moved or on the road. Yes mam and I start walking for the corner. As I am walking away the GF is asking the cop things like, can we drive to the other side of the parking lot. I am not even looking back. Then the GF calls my name and says wait, so I stop and turn she starts to run towards me, stops, turns around walks back to the car opens the door reached behind the seat and grabs two beers and puts them into her jackets pockets. I thought I was going to jail for sure. I turned and just kept walking.
 
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