Slappy
Member
- Apr 29, 2021
- 239
- 557
Who is Slappy???
Slappy McDuner was raised a child of color to a lowly share-cropper in the deep south. From a very early age, he was fascinated by the motorcycle. His first love was a QA50 mini-bike that his father, Pappy McDuner, managed to buy for him. This passion only grew as he aged. He managed to graduate and was considered "gifted" by his peers.
Using his new found knowledge, he soon found himself pumping gas at "Bernies Pump and Fill". This is where his keen interest developed with the modern combustible engine. After he was fired for sniffing the exhaust one too many times, he packed up and headed west. It took him approximately 5 years to hitchhike from Toupillo Mississippi to Brawley California. Reasons as to why it took so long are sketchy, but according to sources, Slappy had the gift of gab and would talk to people for hours on end. It is even rumored that he once talked to a man for 18 hours straight about why matchheads are red in color.
Yes sir, Slappy was a unique individual. But being such a unique individual caused many people to wonder about Slappy's mental stability. While on his journey, Slappy was arrested by police after they found him running through a corn field with nothing on but his birthday suit. And after what Slappy claimed to be an "alien abduction", the judge committed Slappy to the Shady Hills Mental Institution. To this day Slappy swears that he was abducted by an alien race of "Bionic Women".
Slappy met his worst nightmare at the Shady Hills Mental Institution: the men in the white coats. Slappy endured 'treatments', that in his words were, "ABSOLUTELY SHASTAMCSNAPPLISH"! Slappy vowed to escape one day. That day happened when Slappy disguised himself as a mop and escaped, never to be found by the men in the white coats again. That night Slappy began walking. He was following the moonlight that starry night, and singing songs of Robert Preston and Barry Manilow. Slappy kept walking...and walking...and walking...when he stumbled onto the most glorious site he'd ever seen. The sand glistened off the moonlight creating a satin sheet of silver, and abounding with glorious, rippled sand dunes. Her name was Glamis, Mother Glamis that is.
Slappy immediately fell in love with her and the plants and animals that live upon her. He has made personal friendships with many of her inhabitants; his best friend being a Red Tail Hawk he calls "Mr. Red Tail". Slappy found his calling. Slappy searched Mother Glamis for two years straight locating various parts of machine and metal. He slept for an hour a day, enduring the heat of summer, the cold of winter, and near death experiences of men and machines.
After two years, he had located enough parts to piece together a machine that would not be rivaled even to this day, "THE MCSLAPPMACHINE". Slappy and the "McSlappMachine" can be found in Glamis, and at times are seen far off in the distance ripping bowls and riding ridges. His legacy of preserving the dunes, awareness of the Peirsons Milkvetch, Dune Etiquitte, and dune education are the catalysts of his cause. Slappy now lives in...well, nobody really knows, and is married to his darling wife, Natasha McDuner. Slappy is charming and witty, and endulges in prose and poetry. Very few have ever seen Slappy, and even fewer have ridden with him. If you are one of the lucky ones who gets to ride with him, fear not and ride like the wind, because "Rippin a bowl, singin a tune, nobody dune like Slappy dune!"
Slappy McDuner was raised a child of color to a lowly share-cropper in the deep south. From a very early age, he was fascinated by the motorcycle. His first love was a QA50 mini-bike that his father, Pappy McDuner, managed to buy for him. This passion only grew as he aged. He managed to graduate and was considered "gifted" by his peers.
Using his new found knowledge, he soon found himself pumping gas at "Bernies Pump and Fill". This is where his keen interest developed with the modern combustible engine. After he was fired for sniffing the exhaust one too many times, he packed up and headed west. It took him approximately 5 years to hitchhike from Toupillo Mississippi to Brawley California. Reasons as to why it took so long are sketchy, but according to sources, Slappy had the gift of gab and would talk to people for hours on end. It is even rumored that he once talked to a man for 18 hours straight about why matchheads are red in color.
Yes sir, Slappy was a unique individual. But being such a unique individual caused many people to wonder about Slappy's mental stability. While on his journey, Slappy was arrested by police after they found him running through a corn field with nothing on but his birthday suit. And after what Slappy claimed to be an "alien abduction", the judge committed Slappy to the Shady Hills Mental Institution. To this day Slappy swears that he was abducted by an alien race of "Bionic Women".
Slappy met his worst nightmare at the Shady Hills Mental Institution: the men in the white coats. Slappy endured 'treatments', that in his words were, "ABSOLUTELY SHASTAMCSNAPPLISH"! Slappy vowed to escape one day. That day happened when Slappy disguised himself as a mop and escaped, never to be found by the men in the white coats again. That night Slappy began walking. He was following the moonlight that starry night, and singing songs of Robert Preston and Barry Manilow. Slappy kept walking...and walking...and walking...when he stumbled onto the most glorious site he'd ever seen. The sand glistened off the moonlight creating a satin sheet of silver, and abounding with glorious, rippled sand dunes. Her name was Glamis, Mother Glamis that is.
Slappy immediately fell in love with her and the plants and animals that live upon her. He has made personal friendships with many of her inhabitants; his best friend being a Red Tail Hawk he calls "Mr. Red Tail". Slappy found his calling. Slappy searched Mother Glamis for two years straight locating various parts of machine and metal. He slept for an hour a day, enduring the heat of summer, the cold of winter, and near death experiences of men and machines.
After two years, he had located enough parts to piece together a machine that would not be rivaled even to this day, "THE MCSLAPPMACHINE". Slappy and the "McSlappMachine" can be found in Glamis, and at times are seen far off in the distance ripping bowls and riding ridges. His legacy of preserving the dunes, awareness of the Peirsons Milkvetch, Dune Etiquitte, and dune education are the catalysts of his cause. Slappy now lives in...well, nobody really knows, and is married to his darling wife, Natasha McDuner. Slappy is charming and witty, and endulges in prose and poetry. Very few have ever seen Slappy, and even fewer have ridden with him. If you are one of the lucky ones who gets to ride with him, fear not and ride like the wind, because "Rippin a bowl, singin a tune, nobody dune like Slappy dune!"
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