How do you maintain a relationship and contact with your adult kids?

Mac

Mac

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Just as the thread title says....How do you maintain a relationship and contact with your adult kids?

As ridiculous as it may sound, my kids are 32 and 22, both girls, and they call and text me every day.  My oldest usually calls multiple times and texts through out the day.  I also do daily Dad Jokes with them.  I've been doing it for years and I have no plan to stop any time soon.  Most who know me know I'm a horrible father but a great big brother... :lol:   

But my kids turn to me for everything.  Both girls came to me when they needed a bra, got their periods, boys, everything.  I was pretty tough on them but my ex-wife was like raising a third kid.  I felt like the only parent at times.  I always told them, if you want it to stop, turn 18 and give me a high school diploma.  That's your ticket out.  They both did and I flipped the switch to advisor mode and have stuck to it.


So what say you?  What do you do to maintain that relationship with your kids?

 
Jake is 27 and we try to talk at least 1-2 times a week, I call or text and he does the same. I miss having him close to home but know he made the great escape from here so am very proud of him!

 
Mine have not yet left, but it's on the horizon.

I'm same, i'm a part of everything and they can talk to me about anything....Mom, not so much :wife:

:lol:

I hope it never changes.

 
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Easy, they both live with and work for me. My 21 yr old son is a full time employee and my 18 yr old daughter is part time while she finishes high school. 

I built two businesses based around off roading, mostly Glamis, so it's easy for us to spend a lot of time together. But I got sick of them being in my RV so I got them their own toy hauler 3 seasons ago. Best thing I ever did.

But eventually they will leave? 

.

 
I have 3 kids, all in their twenties now.  All have graduated from College and now are on their own.  Vacations and Glamis, we always come together.  If my kids didn't like the dunes as much as I do, I am not sure I would still go as much.

I have also created a home environment that they want to come back and hang with us Old Folks.  

As for everyday communication, we talk every week, not daily.  I am a firm believer to let them fly and try not to get in their way, they have proven that they are self-sufficient. But they always reach out for advice or ideas, I am still here to nurture in some compacity.

 
I have 2 boys (25 & 27), my thought is that now that they are adults, if they need something they can come to me.  Im not going to nag.  Im not going to hang on for dear life.  Ive raised you to be your own men, now go out & kick some ass.  My wife has a similar opinion, but she really likes talking with them & seeing what is going on in their lives.  so she communicates with them much more often.  mostly just stuff. 

our 25 YO just got married this year & has been living with this wife for about 4 years now.  they live about 10 miles from us.  I text with him about once every 2 weeks, depending on what we are working on.  My wife Texts with him about 1 a week.  we all get together about 1 a month.  dinner, holidays, concerts, just cause, etc.  my 27 YO is still living with us.  he works nights, so I see him on the weekends & text with him about 1 a week, mostly for him to move his car or bring in the amazon packages or whatever.  this weekend we talked in good detail about the tires on his car (they suck & one is loosing air).  

 
One bought the house next door, one works for the family business, and the other 2 don't live far so I see them as often as they want to be seen. It feels good to be invited to their or their friends parties, camping trips, dinner, etc. Must have raised them right if they still want to hang out with mom and dad.

 
Mac said:
Just as the thread title says....How do you maintain a relationship and contact with your adult kids?

As ridiculous as it may sound, my kids are 32 and 22, both girls, and they call and text me every day.  My oldest usually calls multiple times and texts through out the day.  I also do daily Dad Jokes with them.  I've been doing it for years and I have no plan to stop any time soon.  Most who know me know I'm a horrible father but a great big brother... :lol:   

But my kids turn to me for everything.  Both girls came to me when they needed a bra, got their periods, boys, everything.  I was pretty tough on them but my ex-wife was like raising a third kid.  I felt like the only parent at times.  I always told them, if you want it to stop, turn 18 and give me a high school diploma.  That's your ticket out.  They both did and I flipped the switch to advisor mode and have stuck to it.


So what say you?  What do you do to maintain that relationship with your kids?
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Mac,

Interesting topic!  As you know, my oldest just turned 18.  She is a homebody. so I am kinda lucky there (in the aspect of staying close to her), except she now has a real boyfriend, and I have actually been thinking about this a lot lately!  Life is changing and keeping it close to the same is a hard balance.  My parents live just up the street (very close to you), and I talk to them multiple times a week but not every day.  I think there is truth in the statement "A family that plays together, stays together".  I grew up loving Glamis and doing it with my parents.  It kinda sucks that they don't go anymore, but that's a different topic.  My youngest is a wild child and I fear will be hard to wrangle when she gets older, but she loves us both a lot so I like to think we will stay close.  I bought both kids their own quads, and now bit their own rzr's.  I hope playing together keeps us together!

 
Freshman year of college we let them out of the car to start his journey and he never came back!. With his new life 2 and a half hours away and he's got a great career and talks to his mother 3-4 times a week on his way home from work. For me I catch him in some conversations five or six times a month and I have great times on vacation and Glamis still to this day!... 

 
2dasand said:
Mac,

Interesting topic!  As you know, my oldest just turned 18.  She is a homebody. so I am kinda lucky there (in the aspect of staying close to her), except she now has a real boyfriend, and I have actually been thinking about this a lot lately!  Life is changing and keeping it close to the same is a hard balance.  My parents live just up the street (very close to you), and I talk to them multiple times a week but not every day.  I think there is truth in the statement "A family that plays together, stays together".  I grew up loving Glamis and doing it with my parents.  It kinda sucks that they don't go anymore, but that's a different topic.  My youngest is a wild child and I fear will be hard to wrangle when she gets older, but she loves us both a lot so I like to think we will stay close.  I bought both kids their own quads, and now bit their own rzr's.  I hope playing together keeps us together!
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You guys have a great family and both kids are awesome.  We love hangin out with you guys.  My oldest was more mellow, my youngest is a constant challenge, so we are in the same boat there.  Just don't give up.  I know you guys won't.

You could always take the Mac approach to parenting.  Do the things they do to annoy you...back to them but 10x worse... :lol:   They tend to get the picture after a while... :lol:
 

 
I talk to my dad multiple times a week and he lives about 10 minutes from me. Go fishing often, camping, etc… I wanted the same with my 19 year old step son but we rarely talk. Been in his life since he was about 6 and I was pretty hard on him growing up. Maybe a mistake of mine. Now we just don’t see eye to eye about most things. He’ll come to Glamis every so often and come for dinner once in a blue moon but can’t tell you the last time we text or spoke on the phone.  I’ll have a 18 year old stepdaughter in May .

 
wapawekka said:
I talk to my dad multiple times a week and he lives about 10 minutes from me. Go fishing often, camping, etc… I wanted the same with my 19 year old step son but we rarely talk. Been in his life since he was about 6 and I was pretty hard on him growing up. Maybe a mistake of mine. Now we just don’t see eye to eye about most things. He’ll come to Glamis every so often and come for dinner once in a blue moon but can’t tell you the last time we text or spoke on the phone.  I’ll have a 18 year old stepdaughter in May .
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Kind of the opposite for me.  My Dad never had much time for me, still doesn't.  I wanted to make sure I was there more for my kids.

 
Like a boat, the best kids are somebody else’s, you can be there for the good times then pull the ripcord and hide out when things go South.

Mrs. Bouy and I are in regular contact with multiple kids we helped raise, I’d say doing more listening instead of advice giving has been a big part of staying in touch as they get older.

I’ve met some great parents through this website, Cookie & Crusty to name a couple, it’s been a pleasure to be part of the village the kids are raised in.

 
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Mac said:
Just as the thread title says....How do you maintain a relationship and contact with your adult kids?

As ridiculous as it may sound, my kids are 32 and 22, both girls, and they call and text me every day.  My oldest usually calls multiple times and texts through out the day.  I also do daily Dad Jokes with them.  I've been doing it for years and I have no plan to stop any time soon.  Most who know me know I'm a horrible father but a great big brother... :lol:   

But my kids turn to me for everything.  Both girls came to me when they needed a bra, got their periods, boys, everything.  I was pretty tough on them but my ex-wife was like raising a third kid.  I felt like the only parent at times.  I always told them, if you want it to stop, turn 18 and give me a high school diploma.  That's your ticket out.  They both did and I flipped the switch to advisor mode and have stuck to it.


So what say you?  What do you do to maintain that relationship with your kids?
Click to expand...
My son, Sebastian, is in his late 20s.  We were off/on through his early 20s because of his extremely manipulative mom.  She used guilt to keep him under her skirt.  It wasn't until he turned 23yo that he finalized realized the reality of things.  He wanted to go into the military and I (and my wife) supported it but his mom intervened and in the end, she imposed her will on him so he didn't enlist.

Now, we text several times throughout the day...workout memes, ghetto-people clips, woke/bitchass memes/clips, etc.  He's come around and is grounded.  Thankfully, shares more with Gen X.

He's also a good mentor to his lil' step-brother.  They talk via FaceTime nearly every evening.  :classic_cool:

 
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