Joke of the day! (No Memes)

I offer the Joke Of The Day In One Word.
@ESCO
Hahaha
 
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The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just wake up and scream.
 
I keep hearing stories about "Battered Women".
All this time, I've been leaving them "Plain".
 
If a blind chick tells you that you have a big dick, she is probably pulling your leg
 
Got a call from HR today… apparently, telling your coworker you knew he was a C-section baby by the way he avoids labor is still not acceptable.
 
We didn’t throw away food because “the expiration date was yesterday”,
we smelled it. If it didn’t knock you out, you ate it.
 
I am going to be really busy in the afterlife.
The list of people I’m going to haunt grows everyday.
 
I decided to take the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.
 
Old truckers never retire,
they just get a new Peterbilt.
 
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
 
A homeless Indian guy in San Francisco
was eating typical Indian food.
Another homeless guy pooping in the street said,
"What's That Horrible Smell"?
 
2 Fly's are sitting on a piece of poop when of the flies' farts!
The other says, "Do you mind? I'm eating!!"
 
People who take naps are the real heroes.
It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.
 
Just when you think there's absolutely no hope left...
remember the lobsters in the Titanic's restaurant.
 
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